And if not, He is still good

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be.  When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, 'soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner'.  I don't try to control a sunset.  I watch with awe as it unfolds." 

- Carl Rogers

Lately, I've learned a lot about that.  I've learned about having patience with myself and with others.  I've learned a lot about meeting people where they are and not where you want them to be.  I've learned about loving myself here - in this season, in this place, in this moment.  There's a quote that is hanging in my bathroom that says this: "Wisdom means to choose now what will make sense later. I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”  That though there is a gap between me now and ideal me, I will choose to let that gap encourage me forward instead of hinder me backward.

"appreciate where you are in your journey, even if it's not where you want to be.  

every season serves a purpose."

Grace is a good thing.  I've been shown so much grace and I've given some grace, too, but I often times deny giving myself grace.  That's a dangerous place to be.  We must, must, must accept ourselves as we are.  We must love ourselves too much to stay where we are, but we must accept ourselves always and continue to move forward always.

I've received a lot of good words lately.  My heart has been so encouraged by those around me, the things I stumble upon, and the goodness that the Lord has sent my way.  How sweet He is.

I have said it before and I'll say it again: I love this season.  Some days, I love it more than others, and quite honestly, a lot of days, I hate it.  But how good it is to dwell in the shelter of the Lord.  He protects us from the storms, but lets us feel the rain.  The hard things that we think we can't handle, we can.  I'm so thankful for this growth.

To give a quick update on my life: days are hard and days are a lot.  I say both of those together because every single day is hard and every single day is a lot.  Some days are good and some are bad and I'm still learning the balance of that.  Sometimes, I think that because I love Jesus, I shouldn't struggle the way I do.  But I'm learning the balance of that, too - that just because I know the goodness of the Lord does not mean that I won't face things that feel too big. 

There are things that I would change if I could, but I'm learning how to accept those things.  I'm learning that He is good and that He knows better than I do, even when I'm surely convinced that I know best.  I'm thankful that the Lord is patient with me in those times.  

I say all of these things because often times, I need to process to know that I know these things... if that makes any sort of sense.  Verbalizing things that the Lord is teaching me helps me to know them.  Otherwise, where does everything go? 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

Jesus, thank you that you are good.  Thank you for the people around me, the love that is so evident to me, and the grace that you always always always have for me.  Thank you for bad days and good days.  Thank you for holding things together when I can't figure out how to.  Thank you for loving me enough to fight for me and call me yours.  Thank you for grace that goes deeper than I even know.  Thank you for seeing me and loving me anyway.  Can't get enough of you.  

"Be confident, my heart,

because the Lord has been good to me.

The Lord saved me from death;

He stopped my tears

and kept me from defeat."

Psalm 116:7-9