Morning Thinking with My Circle

It's so awesome how God puts people in your life for a reason, even done to the minor details you didn't think you needed. He equips you with gifts to shine His light to others, too. 
I thank Him for a friend who can listen to what I have to say without judging me or seeing me differently, friends that I can laugh with, a friend that I can cry to, friends that never leave my side, friends to talk to, friends to pray over and with, friends that I can encourage, family that will love me unconditionally, friends that can keep me accountable.

And it all makes sense because all these things I find in my friends and family are things that the Father is. He is all-loving, unconditional, without judging our past, leading, humorous (that's for sure!), always there, never failing, never leading me astray. 

God is good and I hope we all rest in that truth today.

More Than Conquerors

The Victory - Phil Wickham
Take Heart - Hillsong United

Slight case of rambling and 

"I've-been-too-busy-to-blog,-but-I-so-need-to-right-now". 

Sorry in advance.

So I just got back from BCM. At BCM, which stands for Baptist Collegiate Ministry, we have these groups that meet after BCM that are called Community Groups. And my Community Group has been great and all, but if I can be human and real for a moment (not that my being human is any kind of excuse), I admit that I wasn't as excited about BCM as I usually am.

It's been a stressful week and I know that I shouldn't let that win over the power of Christ, but if we're still being honest, it's so hard sometimes.

So I laugh at all of this when I say that we just happen to be starting our new series on the book of James tonight. And we just happen to be reading James 1. And we just happen to focus a lot on James 1:2-4.

It just happened, of course. 

James 1:2-4- "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Now, I can highlight and love these verses and quote these verses to no end, but it gets really hard to adore my trials when they are bombarding me, begging me to stumble and fall into them.

You can't achieve spiritual maturity without developing steadfast perseverance. And you can't achieve perseverance without rejoicing in your trials.

We have to take heart in the fact that all our troubles, all our fears, He has overcome. The grave is empty. Jesus has risen, death has been beaten. And we are victorious in the Lord, Jesus Christ. 

What we see as the end of the world has already been overtaken. It's done. It is finished.

This speaks volumes to me. I always need to hear this and remind myself of this and come back to this.

We also focused on the idea of community tonight. God blew my mind on this one. Friends, roommates, leaving my friends and family, meeting people- all of these things terrified me whenever I thought about moving to Anderson.

But I can't do it alone. I never could. Now, I don't just mean God and I, but people. I need friends to hold me accountable, to keep me on track, to encourage me, to comfort me, to build me up. 

In every way and in every light, the Lord is showing me that Anderson was absolutely the right decision, as if I needed anymore proof. We are the body of Christ and we all bring different things to the table, but we are one and we are a community united for His glory.

How awesome is that?

We are all so different, but as Christians, we are all so the same.

The Lord is good, I'll say it until He calls me Home. He is good, He is faithful, He is sovereign, and He has overcome.

Exodus 14:14-"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Romans 8:31-37-"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

A Heart Like His. Was I Even a Christian Before?

I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it, but since I've been at Anderson, God has taught me so, so, so much.

I was talking to Mom this morning and I was telling her about a guy I've met. So not going into the details there, 'cause it's nothing like that, but it did make me think a lot.

I met him because he was sitting by himself one day and one thing led to another and he ended up sitting with us.
Well, yesterday, he was sitting by himself again.

And call me mega-creeper girl, but this breaks my heart. I think I've kind of always had a heart for the broken, but I've been living in the shadows of trying to fit in.

This is confusing. Let me explain better.
I was easily swayed in high school. Not swayed in a sense that I did drugs or went out partying all the time, but mentally swayed. I could see someone pick on someone else and it could absolutely break my heart, but I wouldn't do anything about it. I could watch someone trip and fall and watch everyone point and laugh, but I sure wasn't going to be the one to pick them up. I like attention, but I didn't want to be known as the girl that stood out by doing different than what everyone else was doing.

And it's such a scary realization, but was I even a Christian then? I mean, this is what Jesus was. Jesus reached for the lowly and the broken without any regard to what anyone would think of Him. So if I called myself a "Christian", being "Christ-like", then, but I didn't reach for the lowly and the broken, what was I doing?

That's some scary stuff. The whole time, I didn't think I was doing too bad. 

Fast forward to now. Like I was saying, seeing this boy alone absolutely tears (like you tear paper and like your eyes water) me up. I know that I hate to sit alone, by myself. I'm learning more and more about Christ here, so I've kind of challenged myself with what I hear God telling me:

Brenna. If you're a Christian and you love Me and you want to stand for Me, 

how can you ignore My children, My kingdom, and all that I have taught you?

Conviction at it's finest.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

So what am I doing if it doesn't bring glory to the King? What am I doing if I'm not stepping in the gap? What am I doing if I'm stopping Christ from binding the wounds of the brokenhearted through my life?
Bit by bit, God is revealing Himself to me and challenging me. 

I'm slowly learning what it means to have a "servant's heart". I can't sit on the sidelines and act like it doesn't bother me anymore. Forget reputation. Forget what they'll think. If the King of Kings is satisfied with what I'm doing, then so be it.

I won't stand before my friends on judgment day. 

Nothing could ever bring me joy than arriving at Heaven's gates and hearing my Savior say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" 

I feel like David and I are about to become best friends (I ALWAYS LOVED HIM), because having a heart like His truly is the most important thing. 

Prayer Time: Dear God, I stand before you in awe of all that You are and all that you've done for me. Thank you for sending your Son to be murdered for me, even when you knew that I would deny you and forget you and doubt you. Thank you for Jesus, the Messiah, the Hope of the world. I pray that You strengthen and shine through me. I pray that I would yield to you to let YOU shine, instead of trying to get the approval of others. I pray for a heart like your Son's. I pray that I would be full of servitude and grace and that I would live that out. I pray that this hope doesn't stop here, that it's more than words on a blank page, but that it would really happen. God, you're the desire of my heart and I long for and eagerly await you. Thank you for all you've done and for all you've blessed me with. I thank you for Anderson and for all that you're doing in my life here. I love you, God, and all the praise goes to you. It's in your Son's holy and precious name that I pray, amen.

"'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.'" John 14:27

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

To conclude about my story with the boy, he asked if I was going to BCM and I said yes and he said that he was going, but that he hadn't gone last week. I asked if he had anyone to sit with and he said no, so I told him to sit with me. He sat with me and we worshiped and it was so, so good.

BIRTHDAYYYYY

Happy First Spiritual Birthday to me!

One year ago today, I got baptized!  I was a late bloomer in that regard, I guess. Because I've been a Christian for two or three years. Haha, I'm doing great.

Today was great. I like having my baptism, no matter how late it was, as an annual reminder to celebrate God and God's grace. I feel like a totally different person now that I did at this time last year. I mean, at this time last year, I didn't even know that I was coming to Anderson? What?

Anyhow. Amanda, one of my sweet roommates, wrote me a note today. I've only known her for the short month that we've been here (it's officially a month today! WHAT?!), but she, along with my other roommates and "suitehearts" ;), have quickly become a huge part of my life. In my note, Amanda said this: "I don't know if you have noticed, but I look up to you as a leader to Christ. I feel as if God selected you to be my mentor to help guide me to His word and lead me to opportunities to live a better life through Him."

And I don't want to brag or sound conceited, but that is a dang good thing to hear. As soon as I start questioning whether or not I'm on the right track, as soon as I'm tempted to fall into my sinful life, God sends little things like this to me to remind me that I'm doing just fine. He is faithful and He is good, people. Hold firm to that promise.

It would be hard, as tempted as I am, to wrap up all I've learned over the past year in this blog post. It's been way to much. If I can leave you with anything, just know that God is surely alive, good, faithful, sovereign, loving, ultimate, and so, so, so worthy of our praise.

Sovereign Over Us - Aaron Keyes

Overcome - Jeremy Camp

Dwell - Aaron Keyes

Great I Am - New Life Worship - if you listen to no other song, you HAVE to listen to this one!

"'... and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." Matthew 5:11

"'I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you.'" Genesis 28:15

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

My Christian Studies/ministry/I love Jesus a lot verse- 

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." Acts 20:24

I am so happy and so full now.

Blaming God

“If you decide to continually choose to live the way you want to live and ignore God and His ways, you cannot then blame Him for the environment you created for yourself. You created that. He did not. Those that love Him intentionally live His way.” - Heather Lindsey

I need to preach for a moment, bear with me.

So many times, we decide to take matters into our own hands. We decide that whatever we want to create is better than what God wants to create in us. We fool ourselves into thinking that we know what's best for us. But the truth is that we have no idea.

We decide that our sin is worth it. It's worth reaching out to play with. And I'm totally preaching to myself on this one. So many times, I choose my way and I convince myself that living my way is okay. That it's not a problem.

And then I get frustrated and mad at God for the situation I'm in. “God, why are you doing this to me?” I always fail to realize that God doesn't put me in bad situations.  But I put myself into the situation that I'm in by choosing my ways over His ways.

"Surprisingly, I find over and over again that my greatest enemy of the greater life God has for me is...me." - Steven Furtick

We stop ourselves for moving ahead by choosing to stay behind with our sin.  God has greater plans for us, but we interrupt His plans by plotting against Him.  

We have to realize that when we choose sin, that's not anything of God.  God wouldn't choose for us to live that way.  God wouldn't choose the path of destruction for our lives.  He loves us and adores us and wants the absolute best for us.

So stop (still speaking to myself) living in your sinful past and move onto what God has for you next.  Stop blaming God when we put ourselves in situations when we make Him #2.  It's not His fault that we can't decide what to idolize- our filthy sins or the God of the Universe.

Prayer Time: God, I pray that we live boldly for you.  Not boldly in a sense of rebellious, worldly way, but in a soul-out, abandoned-to-God's-call way.  I pray that we recognize when we choose things over You and we recognize that we have no one to blame but ourselves.  I pray that you be glorified and exalted in our lives.  For it's in Your name that we pray. Amen.

#college #Anderson #happylittlegirl

I'm blessed with the best mom ever!

Blessing Ring<3

Best Friends. Hands down.

Me eating yogurt?!

LOVE AND NEED HER TOO MUCH.

By Grace Alone

#roomieluvin

dinner. at the caf.

Yay for Steven Furtick and Cookout!

My sweet RA <3

Clemson Game Day!

I'm currently sitting on the floor in my dorm, studying, listening to Savior King by Hillsong Worship on a Friday night. I've officially reached lame, college-kid status.

School is going great. On some days, my Old Testament class trips me up and I walk out wondering what the heck I'm doing with my life. I feel so stupid in there sometimes. I don't know the right answers. But I know God is sovereign and that He is good. Holding firm on that promise.

I really, really love Anderson. I love everything about it. The people here are so nice, even the upperclassmen. They've made the transition far easier than I would have ever dreamed. I love the classes (on most days). I love the campus. I love, love, LOVE campus worship. Chapel is great and BCM is incredible. 

God is doing so much more than I could've thought. He is totally huge. I never realized how big He was and how all over everything He really is. He's over everything, literally. There is no place that I can go that He won't be and there is no relationship that I can encounter that wasn't first predetermined by Him. I'm meeting great friends and smiling a lot and being so genuinely happy.

I finally feel myself. I feel like I can do me. I never realized I wasn't doing me, but obviously I wasn't. I feel so full now. God is just dang good.

The Church

The Church by Elevation Worship  

This one is just a bunch of random thoughts, jumbling around in my head.  

bear with me, I think I'm going somewhere with this.

I'm coming up on three weeks at Anderson (that flew by, right?!).  Since I've been here, I've taken 48 pages of notes.  I know I shouldn't boast in numbers like that, but I just need to point out that the King of kings is doing something HUGE in this place.

I've learned a lot about the Church since I've been here.  One thing that I've definitely learned is that my church, NewSpring, isn't going to be the church for everyone.  

So it's hard for me to grasp that everyone doesn't love NewSpring like I do.  It's hard to understand that my church isn't the church for everyone.  

But I think that if the church is suiting God's call, then so be it.  End of story.  Case closed.  That's it.  That's Jesus.

I watched the sermon from NewSpring from last week online, since I was home for Labor Day, at midnight last night.  And Perry talked about how we cannot separate Jesus from the church.  

So maybe this post is for me to preach to some people, maybe it's for me to learn something, I don't know.

But I need to get real for a moment.

When we start to seperate Jesus from the church, we lose sight of the purpose of the church.  I think our society gets so distracted in making sure that the church fits our individual needs that we forget that the church is there for His kingdom.  Stay with me for a moment.

The church isn't about us.  It has never been about us.  

church-noun-

1. a building for public Christian worship.

2. public worship of God or a religious service in such a building: to attend church regularly.

3. (sometimes initial capital letter) the whole body of Christian believers; Christendom.

4. (sometimes initial capital letter) any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination: the Methodist Church.

5. that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.

dictionary.com definition of "church"

I think we've moved that definition into something more like a place where we can be fed.  I think it's okay to go to the church hungry and ready to receive His word, but I think it becomes a problem when we make the church our only feeding.  We forget that the church is to feed others.

We get so caught up in the church suiting our needs and satisfying us that we lose sight of the Gospel.

If we want to see God move in huge ways, then now is the time.  We have to show this world all that God is and all that He has to offer.

If we want radical change, we have to be the change.  We have to stop praying for God to move while we sit back and wait on Him to act.  He's waiting on us.  The next move is ours, not His.  He made His move when He sent His son to the cross.  

God is begging us to move.  Static lives don't create growth.  We beg to grow but we try to stay where we are to make that happen.  It doesn't work like that.

"Why would God trust us with what is next if we won't be obedient to what is now?" - Perry Noble

"Fill our hearts with Your compassion.  Let our love be active here." - Elevation Worship

Colossians 1:18-And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.

Luke 6:46-“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?

Prayer Time: Dear God, I pray that we take note of what you called the church to be.  I pray that we stop being selfish about what we call the church to be and we come back to the heart of Your church.  I pray that we stop making the church out as a building that is to stay confined to a building and suit our needs, but that the church would explode and grow beyond what we would call comfortable to suit the needs of a hungry world.  I pray that we take heart in all the your are and all that You've promised so that we don't doubt you, God.  We thank you for all that You are and for the church.  For it's in Your holy and precious name we pray, amen.

http://newspring.cc/series/house-party/next2/

Mommy

Y'all.
I just need to express how good my momma is.

Forreal, do not know what I would do without this woman. There is no one aside from Jesus that is as willing to give up their life for the lives of others. 

This week has been somewhat rough, in a few ways. It seems like all odds are against us. I've cried a lot, I've prayed a lot, asked a lot of questions, and tried real hard to understand. I consider it no accident that the word tonight at BCM (my new obsession!) was "Why do bad things happen to good people?" 

Again, as I always am, I'm back in the seat of being humbled by how God weaves. He pulls everything together and I just sit here with my head still spinning. 

Anyway. Back to Mom. I was really humbled, again, by how my mom works and how she would break her back to make her kids happy. I really saw that this week. She'd give up everything just for me to have something. She's made so many sacrifices for me and, although she doesn't always get it perfect, she tries hard as anything to be close.

So I guess this is to say thank you. "Thank you" doesn't even begin to cover it. I could never, ever really cover it. God is good and He gives you what you need begins to sum it up. But I think it goes beyond that. I think God is using Mom to show me the kind of sacrifice that He gave when He gave up his son on the cross. To me, with life and all the chaos it brings, I forget that sometimes. I love God and I'll live for Him, but I tend to forget all that He has done. I think God gave me the Godly, loving, caring, adoring, precious mom that I have to remind me of that, to show me that it's not easy, to put in my face, on some tiny, microscopic scale, how much He loves me.

So, Mom. Thank you a million times over. You're the best mom ever, even when you don't always get it right. You make me smile, you make me cry, you make everything I'm doing worth it.

Prayer Time: Dear God, I pray that you help me to better understand the sacrifice of your son. I pray that through my family, Your story will be exalted. I pray that I won't forget what You've done and what you gave up to give me life. Thank You for being good when I'm so not good. For it's in Your name that I pray.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7-Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

By the way, sorry for the random, jumbled, "I-don't-know-what-I'm-talking-about" posts lately. My head is all over the dang place. But God is great and that's all that matters.

Nonsense Rambling and Other Stuff

If there's anything I've learned over the last two weeks with college and everything, 

it's that life don't slow down for anyone.

I'm only now getting a moment to blog. I'm home for the weekend because it's Labor Day Monday and I have that off. I'm currently procrastinating doing some homework..

School has been great. More than I could have ever asked for it. I love how God gives you EXACTLY what you need, even down to the tiny details that I would just brush over if I was in His position,  when you need it, how you need it. He's taught me more about myself and the world in the past two weeks that I think I've ever learned.
Christian Studies is beginning to really feel right. God has been reassuring me every step of the way that following Him is the best decision I ever could make, that He will not leave me stranded, and that He is sovereign over everything. 

College is definitely a lot of work, more than I prepared myself for. But somehow (because of God, I'm sure), I'm managing to get through it all. I'm making friends and learning lots and studying and praying and doing ministry and being more me than I ever have been. I understand now why people always say they want a "fresh start". I never thought life was that bad that you would need a fresh start. 

But it is nice to not worry about how people judge you. High school was so many cliques and so many people waiting to watch you fall and so much hate. I'm finding it a lot easier to just be myself with people in college. Because, quite frankly, and not that it ever did matter, but it doesn't matter at all if people like me or not. I know who I am and that's plenty enough.

Anyway. I'm just rambling now. Must be the extreme exhaustion since I stay up too late and I can't seem to sleep past 7am. Later for now.

Oh yeah. I've been dealing with some stuff. I am realllllly tempted to blog about it, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do. So I'll just post this:

Matthew 5:11-12- "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and 

falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, 

because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way 

they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

;)