"He adored his mother."

Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars

In evaluating my recent bad luck, in addition to thinking a lot about my past, I've thought a lot about my future.  Specifically about my future husband.  Lord, bless that man.  He has a lot to handle and he don't even know it yet.  

It's really wild to think that as I pray for him right now, he's praying for me, too.  He's hoping for me and loving me, regardless of not knowing me, and he's preparing for me.  What a thought.  He's creating himself, whether he realizes it or it's just all in the Lord's working and he has no clue, into something desirable for me.  He's thinking about me and about our future family and about the love we'll share.  And he doesn't even know me yet.  He has not even the slightest clue.  

As Brenna and as a girl, I constantly consider what a guy is looking for in a wife, if I can be honest.  I think it's healthy and important to consider him even though it could be years and years before I ever meet him.  

If you haven't read What A Christian Guy Is (And Isn't) Looking For In A Girl, I recommend it for you.  It sparked an interest in me: what do I want in my future husband?

This post is full of disclaimers because I have a lot on my heart right now.  Press on, I like this theory that I have.

After much (like 20 minutes) of long thinking and consideration, I think it really boils down to one thing for me: he has to adore me.
That sounds shallow and so diva and high maintenance, but it's true for me.  Because from his adoration for me, things have the ability to fall into place.

Dictionary.com defines "adore" as this:

a·dore [uh-dawr, uh-dohr] verb, a·dored, a·dor·ing.

verb (used with object)

1. to regard with the utmost esteem, love, and respect; honor.

2. to pay divine honor to; worship: to adore God. [[DISCLAIMER: I'm not a god and I don't need him to worship me.  That's way too much, even for me.]]

3. to like or admire very much: I simply adore the way your hair is done!

And Google defines "adore" as this:

a·dore 

verb
1. love and respect (someone) deeply. "he adored his mother"
synonyms: love dearly, love, be devoted to, dote on, hold dear, cherish, treasure, prize, think the world of;

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If he adores me, my past won't stop him because he'll be able to see beyond that.  If he adores me, he won't be embarrassed when I crack corny jokes or make a mess eating spaghetti because with pride in his heart, he'll point at me and say "that's my wife."  If he adores me, he won't lie to me because he'll treasure me and my well-being over his dishonesty, no matter how hard.  If he adores me, he won't ever harmfully lay a hand on me.  If he adores me, he'll honor and respect my wishes, but challenge me when needed.  If he adores me, he'll like me when I wake up (no makeup, way too ratchet hair, oversized tshirt and all) and when I've been sobbing for hours over that episode of Undercover Boss (we all know that'll happen often. like daily. pray for him now. <3).  If he adores me, he'll deal with my neediness, my craziness, and my psycho tendencies.  If he adores me, he'll calm my anxious heart.  If he adores me, he'll fight for me.  If he adores me, he'll try for me.  If he adores me, he'll consider me.  

Now.  With all that said, I'm not naive enough to believe that things will be perfect.  I know we'll fight and I know we'll disagree and I know there'll be mornings where we don't talk and I know he'll push my buttons because I have no doubt that I'll push his, but if you ask me, adoration makes that all worth it.

The part in the definition about "he adored his mother" is what hooks me in.  That old line about watching how a boy treats his mother is no joke.  When researching and defining for this post, I quickly began to think that I was ridiculous for needing a boy to "adore" me because that sounds over-the-top.  
But I was quickly reminded of what I deserve.
I think as women, as Christians, as daughters of the King, as sisters, as best friends, as mothers, as aunts, and as emotional trainwrecks (it's not a bad thing), we often look at our flaws and convince ourselves that there is no way, no how that we are so deserving of anything wonderful.  And maybe that's not everyone, but it's definitely me.  I often see how flawed I am and think that that reflects what I deserve.

Thank God for grace.  Thank God for forgiveness.  Thank God for love.  I know I harp on these a lot, but they're highly worth harping on.  Praise God for continually reminding us of our worth.

Needing my future husband to adore me seems pretty one-sided, but I know that I'll adore him.  I already do.  I'll adore his bedhead and his quirky habits and the way he drives me insane.

I don't know.  I'm thrilled to meet him.  Not because I need him to complete me, but because it's a beautiful thing to find a person that brings out the best in you.  


Prayer Time:  God, thank you for companionship.  Thank you for creating us and building us the way that you do.  Thank you for grace and patience.  I pray that you would give those of us waiting a heart of patience.  Make us patient in that we wait for no one but you.  Show us the paths.  And until he arrives, prepare our hearts, Lord.  Prepare us for love and for trials and for grace and for forgiveness and for adoration.  Prepare us, God, that we would stand against the storms in the promise of the vows that we took.  Help us to hold unswervingly to the commitment we establish.  And help us to know that this is all your plan, good and seemingly bad.  Help us to rest in the fact that you're bigger, greater, and mightier.  Thank you for love.  Thank you for knowing us and for seeking our hearts.  God, I pray that you would make us a people that would seek your heart long before we seek another's.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen.