So Be It.

"Follow your heart, baby."

Wise words from my very-wise and very-knowing-of-how-to-handle-me mother.  

This is kind of just some words that are on my heart right now.  

Because I'm a thinker (aka I never stop thinking, analyzing, panicking over, celebrating, hurting, and so far on), I often times find myself asking for help.  Even down to the smallest of things, like whether or not to text the boy after our fight a few days ago.
Often times, I find myself here, questioning everything: should i? can i? is it okay to? what if? how much? how little?  I've created this plan, a flow chart even, in my head, full of endless boxes and arrows pointing to hypothetical situations that I can respond to based on my emotional self.  Aka I believe that there is a clear and definite answer for everything.

When I posed the question, full of the analyzing I have been doing all morning, to Mom, her simple answer for me was just for me to follow my heart.  I cried at that because I knew that that was the appropriate answer all along, though it always helps to have it backed up by your near-and-dear.

Doing what seems logical isn't always the right answer (of course not because my OCD screams that everything has an answer and it bothers me that everything doesn't).  Logic isn't always good.  Logic says that there is yes and no answer for all things and that that yes or no cannot be debated, no matter what the situation, person, cause, or emotions.

Listening to your heart is evaluating what you feel is right or wrong, regardless of the imaginary set of rules that you've created, and acting accordingly.  Listening to your heart doesn't offer pristine answers, but it definitely leaves you with a peace that logic can't always offer.

I understand that this is hard to track with, but bear with me.  If God had used logic in saving us, where would we be?  If God had done what made sense, where would we be?  If God hadn't listened to His breaking heart, where would we be?

See, Jesus came and sought after us. He listened to His heart, even when it pained Him ("Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, 'My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?'" Matthew 26:39).  If Jesus had used logic, we would be lost and without a savior.

But, hallelujah, what a Savior.  Because Jesus intervened and listened to His heart, we have freedom, grace, peace, love, a Father, hope, righteousness, justification, eternal life, and joy.  We can know all of these things only because Jesus felt that listening to His heart was better than using His head when it pertained to hanging on the cross.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that logic will screw you up sometimes.  It's the endless battle between heart and head and there is a time and place for logic.  But ultimately, some situations cannot be solved by your flow chart. Logic can leave you with broken relationships, unsaid words, and an empty heart and that is not worth it.

Now, there are situations that you'll have to take to head, some you'll have to take to heart, and some you'll have to take to head AND heart.  Be wise and consult the Lord in all of these because Jesus consulted the Lord and look what came of it.

If you're burdened, pray and do what Jesus says.  Don't let petty things bother you until you explode.  Find peace, whether it's in head or heart.  And be okay with using head or heart.  If it means being irresponsible, so be it.  Do what makes you happy.  Be happy.  Do what will bring you joy.  Because ultimately, that's what matters.