Story. Of. My. Life.
Anderson University was it from that first visit last October. I knew without a doubt that God was telling me "Here, Brenna. This is it. No questions asked. Come on." I mean, I sat in on a class that weekend and we prayed before class started. PRAYED FOR GOD TO GIVE THE STUDENTS KNOWLEDGE.
God might as well have had it on a huge billboard, flashing lights and everything, put it in my front yard, and sat me down in front of it.
But then things started to change. The best friend changed her mind about Anderson being her home, too, Anderson got really expensive really fast, rooming got really complicated real quick-like, and things, slowly but surely, seemed to slide downhill.
I never questioned it being home. Duh. That's a given. God just made it clear that it wasn't going to be handed to me like everything else. I guess He finally got tired of me taking Him for granted, I mean, who does He think He is?
Anyway. I move next Saturday, August 18th. I'll meet my three roommates, six suitemates then. I'll pick up my iPad Monday. Start classes Wednesday or something, I think.
This is when Panicked Brenna rears her wild, frantic, ratchet head. There is so much going on right now that I'm finding it hard to even keep a hold on who I am. SO much change is coming and I'm about to have a lot of choices to make.
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Today, I ran into my youth pastor and his wife at lunch. They, casually, as if it was no big deal, told me that her sister works at NewSpring Church in Anderson. I've only been one time, but LET ME TELL YOU. That church is something crazy, beautiful, awesome. I've been so excited to go for months now and I can't wait to call it my new church home in a few short weeks!
Over this past summer, I've changed my major to Christian Studies. I visited NewSpring Church and it just clicked: this church is it. I loved it. No questions asked. It was kind of like the decision, well, God's decision for me, to go to Anderson-that's just it. No other option.
Over this past summer, I've also casually considered trying to intern there sometime over the next four years. I mean, how cool would that be?! It was just an errant thought, nothing more, really. Just hey, that'd be kinda cool.
Then God does this to me. Haha, it really is funny. I have to laugh myself. God seems to always put this little ideas in my head and then tell me later that they're maybe really not that little.. that actually they're His will for me.
Maybe I'm overanalyzing things. I'm known for that. But I wouldn't feel tugged if it wasn't anything.. right? Maybe God really is just messing with me. Or maybe God is calling me.
I don't know. I never know, what's new?
I just really don't know what I'm doing, hence the ranting and raving and rambling. I don't know my major (though I may be starting to get an idea?! What?!), I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I'm becoming increasing skeptical about things. So it's all in His hands. I don't have a choice. I'm so lost that I'm pretty sure GPS couldn't even find me.
Prayer Time: Dear God, thank You for loving me, when I trust you and when I don't. Thank You for the blessings that You're pouring out onto my life. Thank You for these reassuring little things that tell me that You're here and that it really is all in Your hands. So, God, let's go. You lead the way because clearly, I ain't good at it. I pray that I not only speak this, God, but that I genuinely live out Your will and that I genuinely chase You with radical abandonment. I pray that You shine brighter than my own self in me so that I can live for Your glory. God, it's all for you. Take these hands and use them.
Proverbs 16:1- We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer.
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