for such a time as this

"Let the ruins come to life

in the beauty of Your Name.

Rising up from the ashes,

God, forever, You reign

And my soul will find refuge

in the shadow of Your wings.

I will love You forever

and forever, I'll sing."

My junior year started yesterday.  My schedule is easy and that's probably the only reason that I can afford to be blogging at this point in the day/week/semester.

I've been sick for the last week or week and a half, so I've been meeting people with a voice that sounds like a boy's, covered in sweat because I'm constantly burning up, and drugged up on medicine to try to heal myself.

I firmly believe that even through the little things, God speaks.  And sometimes I don't hear it until I come here and try to speak to someone else, but He is always on time, never late.  With that said, the Lord has taught me through being sick that I can't do life without Him.  No amount of medicine or sleep over the last days has helped, but as I pray to feel better, little bit by little bit, I begin to feel better.  Lol at me trying to handle things myself.

With the start of my junior year yesterday, also came the start of me being a communications major.  I've been to two communications classes and for the first time in a while, I don't feel so overwhelmed and I actually feel excited for this semester.  HAVE I FINALLY FOUND WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, WHAT WHAT WHAT.

Being back in Anderson has been awesome.  Really, Anderson is home.  The life that the Lord has created for me here is a life that I wholeheartedly love.  I have a heart for this campus and these students and the work the Lord is doing in me.  I'm thrilled to be His.

Being back in Anderson has also been emotional.  Things started out very well, but quickly turned emotional.  And for a while (and still now), I let my anxieties get the best of me [please pray for me with that].  I don't even know how to accurately explain the things I feel aside from saying that I can go from laughing and happy and full to feeling like there's a huge weight on my shoulders.  Things feel heavy sometimes and that's hard to carry.  I'm thankful, though, that Jesus chose to carry my burdens with me.  I'm thankful that they're not too heavy for Him.  The Lord is good.

In Esther 4, the Bible talks about things happening "for such a time as this".  That's the belief that nothing we do is ever accident, that there are no coincidences.  That we are called to be His for a purpose.  That the Lord does not make rash decisions, that He is sweet to us.  He is intentional and He is for us.  For His glory, for our joy.

I'm not sure what this post accomplished aside from me needing to put things on paper.  I'm not sure what any post ever accomplishes, haha.  But I needed to rant and talk and rest for a second.  This is sort of what happens when I need to say, but don't know what or how to say.

Thank you for reading.

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13