After my last post, I feel like a follow-up is necessary, haha. To clear the air, yes, I am fine. I'm emotional about 120% of the time and sometimes, that feels like too much, but I'm thankful for the Lord's work in me to heal that jacked up stuff. He does more than I know I need and that will never get old.
I hope that as I learn about life and as I share the things that are happening in my life that you are at least a little encouraged. I'm encouraged when I talk about the things that I rejoice over and the things that I struggle with.
I think that that is really what life is all about. It's about sharing those experiences. I think it's our hearts' natural desire to share and be shared with. Life is about feeling things, good and bad.
Anyway. I think I struggle so much with Aiken because Aiken is too much home. Aiken is where I've always been. (I promise that one day I'll stop complaining about this place. Until I do, bear with me.) It's where I was born, where I went to school, where I found my best friends, it's everything to me. So coming back here, I'm surrounded by all of those things. In addition to all the heights that this town holds, it holds a ton of lows. A lot of sin, a lot of brokenness, a lot of emotion. And being back here makes all that stuff that I would prefer to not resurface "normal" again.
For the next two and a half months, I have to really be intentional about the person that I am. That's the hard part. Because it would be easy for me to do whatever I wanted, but I'm aware of the danger that that is. It would be easy for me to blame it all on my surrounds and chalk it all up to the environment.
The Lord has been reminding me a lot lately about what it means to be made new. I'm reminded that I don't have to be what I used to be, that I am new, that I am restored, that I was bought with a high price. Cause sometimes when you're in a town that holds history, you need some new. You need some restoration (a lot, in my case). I'm thankful that Jesus provides those things. I'm thankful that He makes me new and that the sin that entangled me doesn't have a grip on me anymore. I'm thankful that I can walk in freedom, what a glorious feeling.
With all of the rambling said, I know that this is a growing period. I know that I'm meant to be here and that I'm meant to struggle. I'm meant to seek wisdom. I'm meant to fall down some. I was made for this and I am made new for this.
Thank you, Jesus, for not only restoring goodness in our lives, but for making us new. What a sweet, precious gift that we could have never known we needed.
"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:16-21
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