Those sweet words come from Ashlee Zoch in this is it, a part of her Running series. A friend sent that to me this morning along with these words - "praying for you sweet, encouraging, important, cherished, dreamer friend. praying that you keep dreaming so big. in your shop, in your career, and more importantly with your relationship with our Heavenly Daddy."
I have the conversation almost daily about how the Lord has absolutely changed me through having an etsy shop. When I first considered opening one, I knew that I was good at painting and that I needed money. I've talked about it before, but I have a serious case of money anxiety. Day-by-day, the Lord is healing that in me and showing me how my financial security is secured in Him, not in paychecks, but it's still a pretty real struggle.
Anyway. Now, after 3 and a 1/2 months of being the owner of Brocha Designs, I have seen, over and over, how the Lord supplies. He has given me a heart for calligraphy; I was fearful to even try it until a sweet friend asked that I would. He has given me a heart for things - wooden things, glass things, paper things, script things. He has blessed me so much through it that I can't even keep up. I've made 31 sales in 99 days and every single one of those has come from His goodness and His faithfulness.
I'm not here to brag on success, though. If I am, I hope that it is clear that my boast is only in the Lord. None of my shop or the success that has come from the shop would be even a little able without Jesus.
Anyway. Back to sweet words. A friend named Hope, perfectly named Hope because she's become a giver of hope to me, a lover of hope to all she surrounds, an encouragement towards hope for anyone that even knows her a little, and a heavenly Hope in the flesh, sent me that blog.
If you asked me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I would ramble you something like this - "maybe work for a nonprofit? I'm not totally sure. I would like to do event planning, maybe. But really, my dream job would be to open my own shop. It would be like a craft-calligraphy-paint shop and I could just make things forever. That would be my dream job. I really hope for that, but I don't know."
I think, and I would venture to say that some of you think, that God is good, but that we easily misinterpret what His plan is. That He is kind and He is loving and He is enough, but sometimes we think things are for us when they are not and from that stems our fear to dream. From that, comes the crippling we feel when any asks us about our futures because at this point, we just want to shake them and scream I don't freaking know.
This rings true for a lot of my life. What an injustice to God to set my dreams aside and settle into complacency for my "this is it". Like this is the best the Lord can do. Like this is all He has planned, like He doesn't dream into the future with us.
Psalms says that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our hearts. I think that delight means a lot of things, but oh, I have seen what delight means in the unswerving faith that I have had in His ability. He has taken my little things and made them really big things and my faith is sure because of that. And He has only continued to give me the desires of my heart. Hallelujah, what a savior.
I have seen the Lord gives to things over and over and over. Like Ashlee, I think I need to list some of those things that I have seem Him be faithful to and things that I won't stop dreaming for, running for, seeking to find, and anticipating to receive -
1. a real life shop. in a quirky downtown city. working with my best friends, making things. brewing coffee and eating pinterest cookies. a studio covered in paint that's one of my favorite places to be. being really sweet to supporters and always offering my best.
2. my future husband. I think that it would be easy for me to list off all the attributes that I hope he has, but really, I just hope that he loves Jesus most. a million times over, I hope I get to watch him fall daily in love with our sweet Jesus. I'm really unwavering on this one.
3. my writing. for whatever reason, you people like my words. I'm honored and humbled and eternally thankful. this place is my safe haven and I love that you guys join me here, to maybe feel a little safer, too.
4. my future children. I think I want 5. at least 4, at most 6. I've come back to 3 because children are expensive. but if anyone can do it, it's Jesus. so I'm asking for tons of babies to feel my heart full, full, full.
5. my extended family. it's easily for me to feel hopeless about them. really easy, in fact. but, again, if anyone can do it, it's Jesus. so, Jesus, I'll pray and watch you do it - through me and through others.
6. my heart to travel. because travel is expensive, I've made myself content with accepting that I won't. but who says I can't other than me? a trip to World Market yesterday reminded me of how much I want to get out there, hahaha.
7. connectedness. I love relationships and I love analyzing them. the Lord blessed me with an ability to connect to people and I thoroughly enjoy watching that continue. let's get coffee, let's go thrift shop, let me see your heart a little, I can show you mine.
"God never deserts the dreamer. He doesn’t. I don’t believe for a second I was left, and neither should you. Even when you don’t know the directions, you have GOT to keep running. There will be times you are going to be discouraged and will feel purposeless, but keep running towards the Creator. We have stories to tell, relationships to make and dreams to chase. And above all, we have a God who runs ahead of us to make a path."
here's to chasing dreams. here's to making our little desires into our heartbeats. here's to trusting the God of immeasurably more to do immeasurably more. here's to fears forgotten and to prayers pursued. may we never forget to dream a little bigger.
sidenote - I leave for Seattle for the biggest mission trip I've ever been on in four days. expect some words on that soon!
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