Coming Home

"If you walk away from God, you walk away from the protection of God." -Perry Noble

I am so, so, so confused lately.  Confused about many things.
I don't believe in my worldly, secular head that I have "walked away from God" (By the way, you know you're justifying for yourself when you feel the need to put it in quotes.  Preaching to myself here).  I haven't left God, really, though I haven't turned to Him.  It's a crazy life I live, I tell you.  I'm pretty sure I'm the worst sinner out there.  I don't smoke weed or party or sleep around, but my heart's intentions are not good.  I'm deceitful and inconsistent and wavering in my faith.  I'm dishonest and fleeting.  

Like I said in another post, when you ask God to show you your sin, He'll make you feel disgusting in yourself.  Not only that, but He'll keep showing you long after you think you already got the point.  Even though I don't know which way is up lately and I feel so caught up, it's is so very exciting to know that God is working on me.  In the midst of this chaos, He has a plan for me.  In the midst of my dirtiness, He is stepping in to pull me out.  The Cleanest of Clean is stepping into the wreck of a life that I've made for myself and helping me.  Ladies and Gentlemen, THAT is a reason to rejoice.  God has not forgotten about me or you.

Anyway.  I always end up laughing (and I mean laughing hard like "Brenna, you're so stupid") at myself.  How in any universe did I think that I was in control of my life?  Like "Sure, God, you can have my future and my past.  But these present circumstances, calm down 'cause I got it.  I'm all over this, I don't need you here.  Just step in and save me later when I ask.  Don't intervene when you're not wanted, God."  

Are you kidding me?  I'm RIDICULOUS.  I have fallen flat on my face because of this.  My confusion is because I kicked God out and told Him I could handle it.  

Why would (and how could) I ever believe that God doesn't get me?  That God doesn't see the end of this and that if maybe, just maybe I handle it, it'll still be okay?  That God doesn't have my best interest at heart?  That Jesus came to save the real or hardcore sinners and that somehow, I don't fall into that category? 

When you step out of fellowship with Christ, you really do lose the protection of God.  I feel so under attack lately.  It seems like while some things are somewhat coming together, other things are miserably falling apart.    I stepped out of an intimate relationship with the Lord and stepped into the world.  I can handle it, God.  Really.  Chill out.  This is my life, not yours.  And that sounds so ridiculous, but when you sum up what I've done and the thoughts I've had, it boils down to that harsh reality.

The devil takes this little loss of fellowship and makes it explode, y'all.  He will make you forget that God even exists.  You forget that the victory has been won already and that God comes out on top at the end of EVERY day, EVERY year, EVERY season.  Hallelujah for that kind of King.  

The beautiful thing about being a Christian is not only being able to rest in the truth that God will always reign, forever, but being able to come Home when you run.  Perry preached on this Sunday and I didn't even know that this was where this post was headed, but of course God's divine intervention would have me here.  No matter how fast I run from God, all I have to do is turn around.  The beautiful thing is that it's never too late to turn around.  I can run my whole life, even persecute the name of Christ, but all I have to do is turn around.

Y'all, God is good.  I say that way too much and never enough all at the same time.  We are so blessed to have a religion and a Risen King that allows us to simply come Home.  We don't have to earn Home or the King back.  There's nothing we could do to earn that.  In fact, everything would do should stop us from receiving that.

Today is a good day to be blessed.  God reigns, day after day, everyday, forevermore.  Eternal and forever. I know a lot of things make me excited, but I hope this makes you excited like it makes me excited.  God is forever and sovereign over us, even when we walk away.

Prayer Time: God, thank you for all that you are.  Thank you because we can dwell in Your presence, even when we persecute Your name.  Thank you for reigning over our lives and giving us a reason to have joy and hope.  Thank you for calling us Home.  Help us to remember you, God, and you alone.  In Your Son's name I pray, amen.

"Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed.  When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals--one on his right, the other on his left.  Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.  The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him.  They said, 'He saved others; let him save himself is he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.'  The soldiers also came up and mocked him.  They offered him wine vinegar and said, 'If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.'  There was a written notice above him, which read: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.  One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: 'Aren't you the Christ?  Save yourself and us!'  But the other criminal rebuked him.  'Don't you fear God,' he said, 'since you are under the same sentence?  We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.  But this man has done nothing wrong.'  Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.'  Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.'"  Luke 23:32-43

Don't miss that Jesus forgave a real-life criminal that was moments away from his death and Hell.  Jesus welcomed him Home even then, as He Himself hung on a cross for the sins of the world.  Hallelujah, what a Savior.

Also.  THIS, THIS, THIS.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K48-Li7lIfA