bear with me, maybe I'll be normal again soon

thank you God for saving me

I make a lot of mean comments.

I say a lot of unkind things.  I say things that don't need to be said.  I think thoughts that I shouldn't think.  I'm selfish sometimes (a whole lot) and I'm greedy and I have this thought that it's my way or the highway.

I've known these things about myself for a while and I've been working towards fixing these things in myself.  It's been a humbling, eye-opening experience.  I thought I was doing pretty okay, only to find out that my pride made me really not okay.

Through realizing all of this, I've realized how sweet the Lord really is.  He is sweet and kind and so, so loving.  I bring nothing good to the table, yet He sets a buffet out for me.  I'm unclean and prone to wander and really undeserving, but I'm so thankful that the perfect One loves me anyway.  

I've been humbled a lot.  Humbled by the fact that God loves me anyway, humbled by the fact that He chose me anyway, humbled by the love that was preciously poured out for me anyway.  In spite of a lot of me and in spite of a lot that I am, Jesus still called me.

Things in my life have been a little chaotic lately.  I've been emotional and busy and kind of stressed out.  And I feel like I can't really think straight.  I call this the End of Summer Blues, hahaha.  I'm so excited to go back to Anderson and nervous about leaving home and happy & also nervous about all the things that are happening.  I'm hopeful and prayerful and ready and at the same time, so not ready.  

I guess that is what makes blogging hard lately.  Quite honestly, I love a lot and I hate a lot right now. I'm so, so thankful that in spite of my wavering, God is constant anyway.  I trust, believe, and find hope in the goodness of Him who is much more able than I.  Praise Jesus for that. 

hard days are hard, but Jesus is good and I will never tire of that truth.

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O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! {Psalm 63:1-3}