the pink pen

After reading back over this whole thing, I'm not sure much of it makes sense, but really, do any of my blogs?  Lol.  Thanks for reading anyway.

My sweet niece turned four on Monday.  If you follow me on any social media or really know me at all, you know that I adore the fool out of Madison.  Few things make me as happy as she can and I wouldn't trade having her call me her cuddlebug/best friend/"my Brenna" for anything in the whole world.  She's cute and sweet and she has my heart.

Recently, we had this conversation:
"Brenna, who bought you that pink pen?"
"Uh, Ward bought it for me."
"Oh. *raises eyebrows* That was bery (you know, like 'very') nice ob (like 'of') him."
"Yes, it was."
"You should tell him 'thanks'.  That was bery sweet ob him."

I'm not very sure how Jesus does it, but He manages even to speak to me through a four year old.  All those things that I take for granted, somehow she humbles me.  I understand that a pink pen isn't the epitome of gifts ever, but maybe it could be if I decided to see it that way.

I've always said that life is all about how you choose.  The good choices and the bad choices that we make are what make our lives up.  I was born with a natural ability to choose the choice that leads to my ultimate happiness.  I think that that is what it's all about.  Not that I intend to choose selfishly because I think that God should come first in that regard, but I do really believe that happiness does matter.

With all of that said, though it may seem frivolous and ridiculous (which are basically the words of my life, so idk), I can value that pink pen forever and ever if I choose to.

I would give a lot up to be able to see the world as Madison does.  I would give a lot up to automatically respond to the gift of the pink pen with a lot of gratefulness.  

The Lord has done more work in me this summer and in this season in my life than I could have ever anticipated.  I've said that a lot and I'll continue to say it.  Though summer is less than ideal for me and I could absolutely think of about 100 things to complain about, I know know know without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus has better things for me than I have for myself.  What a sweet gift it is to have someone that values my well-being and His glorification (which, really, in glorifying Him, my well-being is more than satisfied) above all else.  I will never tire of being wrecked and fixed and restored and healed and redeemed.

Life is all about how you choose.  It's about how you choose to see the pink pen.  It's about the mistakes you'll make, the lessons you'll learn, and the work that the Lord will do in you.  

Someone told me the other day that in regards to Ward and I (pause for a second: I realize that I have not officially introduced him to the blog.  With time, my friends), it is "so nice to see you so happy!"  I agree with that.  I am happy.  But I don't believe that it is all due to having a boy sorta in my life.  Ward has taught me so much about life, about the person that I want to be, about the power and faithfulness and sweetness and promise of the Lord.  Ward has contributed to moving some major mountains in my life.  But those mountains weren't spoken to by him and I know that.  I know that this (our relationship) is all because Jesus spoke it into existence.  I know that without Him, he and I would be so ridiculously lost.  I know that, at any moment, the "Ward and I" that I have come to like a whole lot could cease to exist, but that Jesus will forever be mine and I, His.  I know that Jesus begins, works through, and finishes the work.  I know that Ward is sweet, but the Lord is sweeter.

Through this season (the summer, giving money to homeless people, getting closer to my sister, turning 20, Ward, Anderson, college, playing My Little Pony with Madison, growing closer to the Lord) in my life, I have learned more about who Jesus is than I thought I could ever learn.  And I'm thankful for this season, but I know full well that the Lord spoke it into existence first and that ultimately, this is all for His glory.  I'm greatly contented, pleased, and joyful to be being shaped up for His glory.

"For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." - Colossians 1:16-17

Isaiah 43:19 - "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I have also said this before, but I'm so very happy about the person I'm becoming.  I could credit that Future Brenna to a lot of sources, but ultimately, it's Jesus.  And I choose to see it that way.