It Never Runs Out On Me

I HATE that it has been so long since I've been here.  To say things have been crazy is an understatement. But what's new? That's my life.

I'm learning day by day that the farther away from God I get, the harder the devil attacks against me.  One little slip up and Satan comes in the destroy everything.  And he makes it seem as if I can never get back to God.  This is kind of where I am now.  Hopelessly, helplessly, desperately clinging to whatever God-resembling thing I can. 

If you've never heard Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture, I recommend you listen.  It seems to slap me back into reality.  Because as soon as I feel like I've run too far, God calls me Home.  As soon as I feel like I have messed up way too much, God calls me back.  As soon as I get wrapped up in my sin and there is literally no way out on my own, God comes to my rescue.  

When it feels like God's love has run out on me, He speaks the loudest to reassure me that He isn't done with me.

I don't know how God does it.  I couldn't walk even a moment in His shoes, that's for sure.  I guess that's the reason that I keep expecting God to run out on me.  I'm waiting for the day when He looks at me and says "Brenna, it's been enough.  You're helpless.  And I'm done trying."  

Now, while I hope (and know) that day will never come, my human mind (and sinful heart and soul) waits for it.  Even with words like Proverbs 3:5-6 that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight", I fear that God cannot possibly put up with me forever.

I tell you what.  Thank God for His grace.  Thank God for His love.  Thank God for His compassion.  Thank God for His faithfulness.  Because I am so, so, so undeserving.  

Though I haven't figured it out again, I'm going to fix this.  God is still there, thank Goodness.  And He's waiting, though I've been running.

Prayer Time: Thank you, God, for all that you are.  Thank you for never, ever, ever even considering giving up on me.  Thank you for a love that never fails, never gives up,  and never runs out on me.  Thank you for chasing me when I chase the world.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Romans 8:37-39- No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor the present nor the future, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sorry for such a short post.  Thanks for reading and putting up with me.  God is good.